You see, while enjoyable, it's very hard to actually care about The Limehouse Golem.
It's not a film to get passionate about.
And in many ways, these are the hardest films to review - because it's just so damn hard to give a crap about what you've watched.
If it was 47 Meters Down kinda pish (a film so bad I actually took two goes at getting the title right there) you could rant away to your heart's content.
Or if it was up there with Hidden Figures or The Hitman's Bodyguard, then again - the keys would be walloped with many a fine flourish.
But when you've walked out of cinema thinking nothing more than 'yup, solved that before he did' while wondering what to have for tea...
...well, it's a challenge.
And to be honest, if I wasn't feeling crap at having to miss Suzanne Vega this evening, I would probably still not be getting round to writing this.
For those that missed Golem's briefish run on the big screen, Bill Nighy plays a beleaguered Victorian copper given an unwanted high-profile case on the basis that when he fails to solve it he can be drummed out of town and no one would care.
Sadly, he actually starts putting clues together, and hunting the vicious killer to ground.
The Victorian era is gloriously brought to life, and the whole film has the feel of a classic penny dreadful - gory, sensationalised, but ultimately disposable.
Nighy is very good, as always, but essentially doesn't break out beyond being Bill Nighy, while the rest of the cast glide through being absolutely fine.
But when you have to wait until the final moments of the film for the solitary jump, you can't help but think something was missed somewhere.
Somewhere in here is a chilling, violent, brutal, gory horror thriller that could have you on the edge of your seat.
Instead, you're subjected to something that would struggle to make an impression at 9pm on a Sunday night on BBC1.
Oh well, at least I've written about it now...
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